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INTERNET
Reviews are brought to you by Professional TV Watchers of America. Turning couch time into public service.

Technology · Artificial Encouragement · Satire

Claude Opus Says “Yes, Absolutely,” Then Spends 900 Words Explaining Why You Can’t

The first sentence approves your project. The next three bullet points cancel it. Your idea has been approved for immediate abandonment.

By Delete the Internet Technology Desk · September 10, 2026
Read the two small caveats
APPROVED Your request has been approved. Conditions of approval: • This cannot be done. • There is no workaround. We look forward to your progress.
Original artwork for Instadocs: The Decoy Plane NEW REVIEW · 0.07 / 10

Reviews Department · New

Instadocs: The Decoy Plane

Netflix takes a presidential security operation and turns it into 28 minutes of journalists interviewing journalists about what happened to journalists.

By Delete the Internet Review Desk
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National · Litigation

Meta Settles $18 Billion Addiction Case; Pornhub Accused of Keeping Users Firmly Engaged

Attorneys say Meta weaponized infinite scroll, while Pornhub made the mistake of putting the word “next” where exhausted citizens could see it.

By Chip Burroughs · Senior Compulsion Correspondent
Read the full complaint

Artist’s rendering of an ordinary citizen being informed there is additional content below.
Satirical editorial illustration of a suited California lawmaker posing with a cannabis plant in a Capitol office TERRITORY SECURED

California · Cannabis · Satire

State Capo Cecilia Aguiar-Curry Secures Complete Territory for CCOA Cartel

AB 8 crushes artisanal gas-station seltzer brewers so authorized dispensaries can maintain their premium shakedown prices.

By Delete the Internet Valley News Desk
Enter the territory
DEVELOPING
Man Who Clicked “Accept All” Now Serving as Constitutional Scholar
A visual history of writing from the quill and Civil War letters to computers, mobile phones, and AI 400 YEARS OF PROGRESS*

Culture · Linguistic Emergency

English Language Completes 400-Year Journey From Shakespeare to “write my email but use smart words”

Written English survived plague, civil war, and dial-up, only to reach a species that now misspells the prompt asking a machine to fix its spelling.

By Clive Semicolon · Senior Language Decline Correspondent
Read the complete decline

Technology · Viewer Captivity

YouTube to Put Ads Inside Ads; Ad Blocker Responds by Blocking Electricity

Company says the new nested format creates fewer interruptions by placing every interruption inside one much larger interruption.

By Skip Prewitt · Senior Interruption Correspondent
Continue after the commercial
An exhausted viewer watches advertisements nested inside advertisements VIDEO BEGINS IN 6:48
$2,400,000
ORIGINAL
HOME
ADU
ADU
PRIVATE OASIS

Real Estate · Asset Optimization

Charming Reseda Bungalow Offers Room for the Whole Family, Four Other Families, and Their Eleven Cars

The $2.4 million private oasis features five residences, eleven parking spaces, and unobstructed views of every tree still located somewhere else.

Tour the private compound

Special Comparative Report

At 19, One Generation Was Sent Over the Top; the Other Is Requesting a Mental-Health Day Because the Group Chat Felt Weird

A century-long survey of courage, equipment, hardship, and available charging ports.

Compare the generations

The Reviews Department

Entertainment recommendations from people who have put in the hours.

We watched the whole thing. Someone had to.

Visit all reviews
Professional TV watcher holding a remote with the slogan 100% American. Never outsourced.
Original artwork for Remarkably Bright Creatures

Review

Remarkably Bright Creatures

Before you recommend this charming story about cephalopod companionship to your book club, know that beneath the surface lies a chilling string of gross misdemeanors,…

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Original artwork for Square One: Michael Jackson

Review

Square One: Michael Jackson

Buckle up. Going forward, this is what will pass as a documentary. We'll have to deal with some twat talking on his phone while narrating. And by narrate of course I…

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Our Standards

Local facts. National consequences. Television handled professionally.

From the Valley to Washington, Delete the Internet covers the decisions, disputes, and poorly parked vehicles shaping American life.